


The Templar in Training and the Maiden Waiting

by InannaAthanasia



Series: Intertwined Hearts [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Awkward Crush, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Best Friends, Chantry, Childhood Friends, F/M, Falling In Love, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Male Friendship, Masturbation, NSFW, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Templars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-31 20:19:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3991468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InannaAthanasia/pseuds/InannaAthanasia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair has been in the Chantry training as a Templar for 8 years and soon will be taking his final vows. Often thinking about Tela & what happened to her, she sends him a letter and a small painted miniature he becomes enthralled with. After some passionate dreams & exchanging many letters, he realizes he is falling in love with her & decides to confess it in a letter.<br/>*******<br/>Telaina is 16 & growing into an amazing beauty. Soon she is getting marriage offers regularly, her parents are understanding & agree not to match her till she is 18, they make it clear she will have to marry one day. Asking her Brother Fergus for help, she tracks down Alistair & writes to him. After a few letters between the two, she begins to have feelings for the young Templar. When Alistair confesses his love to her finally, she quickly tells him she loves him as well.</p><p>Both fearing they are star crossed lovers, they wonder if there will ever be hope that they will be together one day.</p><p>** Note, while I may someday go back and edit this, my writing skills are a bit lacking. I am finally continuing the series and wanted to state why there is a change in punctuation and overall better grammar. **</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will switch each chapter between Alistair and Telaina leading up to Alistair becoming a Grey Warden.
> 
> There is nothing in cannon to suggest Alistair ever knew of Cullen before they met in the tower during the blight. Nor is it ever mentioned a female Cousland might know and befriend young Delilah Howe. However for the sake of making the story flow better and allowing each character someone to tell deep feelings and thoughts to, I have used two in game character who could easily fit into the rolls I gave them in my story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sent to the Chantry not long after Alistair is there, a young boy named Cullen becomes Alistair's closet friend. Helping each other over the years both work together to become the best they can be.
> 
> When Alistair receives a letter from the girl he met in Redcliffe years ago, along with a small painting of her, Alistair becomes enchanted with her image. As the two write back and forth, he finds himself falling in love with her as well.
> 
> Cullen warns his friend that he most likely will never marry since few Templars do and especially since she is a Cousland and Alistair could never hope to marry a Teyrn's daughter, but Alistair doesn't care, he knows what his heart wants and he would rather pine forever over a woman he loves then never know love at all.

There were chantries scattered across Thedas, but only so many took in young men and women who would one day become their Templars. The chantry Alistair was sent to had boys from all over southwestern Ferelden. And it was there Alistair met a young boy named Cullen who came from a town south of Redcliffe. Alistair was thankful for Cullen's friendship since Cullen was well respected by the other boys, as he excelled in everything he did. Alistair however was not. Awkward and clumsy, Alistair was not a favorite of anyone's. Cullen however found much joy in Alistair's fun loving nature and his ability to find happiness no matter what he did. Many were shocked over the two boys friendship, but eventually most saw that while both boys were opposites, they also balanced each other out.

Alistair was going to be 18 soon and would embark on his final 2 years of training before taking his vows and becoming a full Templar, just like Cullen. Cullen had already gifted Alistair with a new whetstone that gave his weapon the sharpest edge it had ever had, but unlike Cullen, Alistair had no family who sent gifts every year. Arl Eamon came to see him a few times, but even that stopped. For the past 3 years, only Cullen even acknowledged Alistair's birthday.

The boys hurried so they wouldn't be late for their studies. The one thing Alistair excelled over Cullen in was the study of Ferelden history and battles. He was very interested in the subjects, especially the study of the Blights. While Cullen found the Blights disgusting and although he had no fear of fighting Darkspawn should another Blight come, he did not wish to study and read about them either. But it was here that Alistair and Cullen showed their helping friendship. Alistair helped Cullen in his studies while Cullen helped Alistair with his sword work. Their equal teamwork was the foundation for an epic friendship for both men. They also hoped that when they took their final vows, they could convince their superiors to send them to the same circle.

Leaving the classroom for midday meal, all recruits also were given any mail that family might of sent. Like normal, Cullen always received a letter from his elder Sister Mia. She wrote every week since the day he left to become a Templar. While extremely happy for his friend, Alistair was always disappointed to never have anything himself, however today was different, much to both boys shock. Alistair went to collect his letter and found it was a small package, curious he quickly went back to Cullen and unwrapped it. Both Cullen and him were speechless at the small painting. The painting was of a gorgeous young woman with slightly curling black hair and pale green eyes. She was wearing the height of Orlesian fashion. It was the type of picture one would expect with a marriage offer. As Cullen and several other boys passed around the painting, all whistling and commenting on her beauty, Alistair read the letter that was with it.

_Dear Alistair,_

_I hope you will remember me, I am Tela whom you met and defended too in Redcliffe many years ago. I know I haven't written sooner, but my parents had thought it would be a bad idea when we were younger. My Father was afraid it would bring you bad memories and cause you pain since I was the reason you were sent away. I hope you can forgive me. I think about you often Alistair and while we only shared two days together, it meant the world to me. I am not sure if you were ever told, but I begged my Father to buy Prince from Master Dennet and let me have him. I knew how much he meant to you and I wanted to be sure nothing bad came to him without you there. He was my own personal mount until this year. For my 16th birthday, he gave me a beautiful grey gelding, but since I am not very tall I still ride Prince as much as I can around home. He is beginning to show his age and his joints get sore, especially in winter.He even has the cutest white hairs growing all over his nose._

_If you care to or even allowed to, I would love to hear back from you, if only briefly to let me know how you are doing. I wish we could of met sooner when we first got there so we would have had more time together. After you left, I cried much, you were my Hero, yet I couldn't be yours. For that I am sorry. I tried to get Father to change Arl Eamon's mind, but nothing worked._

_I am sending a small painting so you can see what I look like now. I hope you like it. Father had several made for the possibility of inquiring about Marriage offers. But I have convinced him, with my Mother helping, that I will not wed till I am 18. At least it gives me to more years of freedom. Sometimes I wish I could run away from here, but I know I can't._

_Your Princess Tela_

 

Alistair couldn't help but grin. Not only had he thought of her, but she had of him too. He couldn't help but feel pride that she turned down other men and thought of him. He knew it wasn't like she had loved him as a child, but somehow knowing she thought of him and turned down others did make his ego swell a bit. Looking again at her painting, any man who had someone as beautiful as her thinking about him should actually have a huge ego, for she was truly the most beautiful woman he ever saw.

"Wow Alistair is she your betrothed?" one boy asked

"No Templars can't be betrothed" another boy said

"Did you inherit a title and leaving us to marry her?"

"No, she was a childhood friend who was finally allowed to write, The painting was to show how much she had grown up over the years" and became breathtaking he thought. He couldn't help but wish she was his to marry, how could any man not pray for such a beautiful woman to be his wife, his lover? He blushed at that thought. While some of the boys here seemed like they had sex on the brain constantly, Alistair most certainly did not. Even when one of the boys older Brother smuggled him a book that talked a great deal about sex, he had been embarrassed and couldn't finish it. Now however as he looked at the painting, and allowed his eyes to slide over every curve of her body he couldn't help but feel a burst of desire. His eyes caressed her round bosom, pushed high by her dress and he felt heat creeping up his cheeks. Makers breath he could only imagine how he would react to her in person if he got this worked up just looking at a painting of her!

"Come on lover boy" Cullen laughed "Lets get to practice so you can learn how to handle your sword right"

Alistair rolled his eyes, Cullen could be such a pain in the ass sometimes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night Alistair laid in his bed looking at the painting of Tela. She was a very pretty girl and looked more like his age when they met, but never would he have suspected she would be this beautiful grown up. She had the looks of a Goddess in his mind, and from what he heard from the others, he wasn't the only who thought that. Her face was heart shaped with almond shaped eyes. Her eyes were pale green as a child, but he couldn't see them clearly in the painting. She had a small cute nose with high cheekbones. But it was her lips he was focused on. Full plump lips any man wished he could kiss. He wonder what kissing such lips would feel like? Soft, gentle and most likely passionate. He had never kissed anyone before, but somehow he just knew that her lips would be incredible. Signing and hearing the call for all lights out, Alistair tucked her painting away and blew out his candle.

_Alistair found himself walking down a hallway with people talking all around him. Then he saw Cullen, with his arm around his shoulders telling him he was a lucky dog, He saw Teagan and he told Alistair he envied him. Why was everyone cheering him and congratulating him? Then he saw Arl Eamon and even King Cailan. Cailan clapped him on the back and told him how happy he was for him. Everyone was pushing him to a door. Opening the door, he felt his jaw drop at what he saw. There in front of him was a very naked Tela with only a thin sheet covering her. Her beautiful black hair hung in waves all around her and her smile stole his breath. Reaching her hand out to him she spoke._

_"Come my Husband let us enjoy our first night"_

_Everyone cheered at her words and Teagan, along with Cailan pushed him to the bed before shutting the door behind him. He only stared at her and couldn't move. He couldn't remember getting married, but he decided he didn't care, not when she dropped the sheet in front of him._

_She was so beautiful. He couldn't believe a woman as beautiful as her would want him, but he wasn't about to tempt fate and complain. She reached out to him and pulled his shirt over his head. Swallowing hard, he noticed hard pert nipples jetting upward, begging to be touched. Slowly raising a shaking hand, he lightly touched one breast and was instantly rewarded with a soft moan as her head rolled back and she whispered his name. Gathering his nerves and strength, he quickly undid his breeches and let them fall to the ground before climbing into the bed with her._

_"Kiss me husband, I long to taste you"_

_Alistair pulled her soft body tight against him and kissed her with all he had in him. She tasted like divinity as her soft hands began stroking his chest and he felt like his skin was on fire. Maker's breath she tasted amazing. Feeling more bold he rolled her under him and allowed her to cradled him between to beautiful thighs. Leaving her mouth, he slowly kissed his way down to one perfect breast, while his hand slipped along her thigh, pulling it up on his hip._

_"I can't wait any long Alistair, make me yours forever" she moaned in his ear._

_Capturing her lips again, he pushed himself into her warm tight heat and as he thrust himself into heaven, both quickly peaked together,_

Alistair sat up quickly, panting from his dream. Never in his life had he dreamed of sex and never had he had such a clear vivid dream. It felt so real, she felt so real. Looking down, he instantly became flush as he realized his body thought it was real too. While he knew many of the others took care of such things, he most certainly had not and he was thankful it was several hours before anyone would be getting up. He was already embarrassed without anyone else seeing him like this. Getting out of bed, he quickly went to clean up.

Finally all cleaned up and his clothing changed, he sat back down on his bed. He had to write her back. There could never be anything between them, but he had to let her know he had never forgotten her. Not to mention now that he saw her painting, he knew she would linger in his thoughts for the rest of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telaina has just turned 16 and is excited for her closest friend Delilah Howe to come back to Highever. Spending more time here than with her own family. Delilah and Telaina are looking forward to going to Denerim with her parents in a few days time.
> 
> Telaina also receives her first letter back from Alistair and she is excited to share the letter with her friend. Alistair also encloses a hand drawn portrait of himself done by one of the boys there who is an amazing artist. While not as detailed as her gift to him, she can more than see how handsome he really is. Between his picture and his letters, she realizes she is falling in love with him.

Telaina was excited. Delilah was coming to stay and both would be going to Denerim with her parents to be officially presented to the court. At 16, both were of age for marriage and the best marriages were always found among the nobles at court. Both would have new dresses and shoes and, well everything. Her Mother told her that they would be taking both girls to Denerim a few weeks after Delilah got there to shop for their new wardrobes. Bryce owned a small estate in the city, as most of the elite nobility did and they would stay there for most of the summer preparing for their introduction into court and then the rest of the season as well.

Thankfully Rendon Howe seemed to back off on trying to match his children with them and realized that even if Delilah didn't marry Aedan, being a part of the Cousland household and having them host her at court would bring in much better marriage offers than anything he could do himself with her. Plus neither of the her parents seem to care much about Delilah. All Rendon cared about were his sons and the influence they could bring him and his wife didn't care about her husband or children other than young Nathaniel who was her pride and joy.

Walking down to the lake outside of the castle, Telaina would miss her peaceful getaway. Closing her eyes she remember 8 years ago in Redcliffe when the young stable boy Alistair had taken her to his hidden spot by the lake. She knew it was one of the reasons she liked coming to lake once they were back home. A part of her would always ache over the boy she was responsible for being sent from his home. Her Father said it wasn't her fault but there was no other reason.

Recently she had asked Fergus to find him and when he did she had sent him a letter and one of the miniatures her Father had painted of her to send to potential marriage proposals. She knew most of the boys told her she was very pretty and even Ser Gilmore told her she was the loveliest girl he had ever seen, so she hoped that Alistair would also find her pretty. Smiling at the thought she laid back on the grass and looked at the clouds.

"Who is this ugly servant girl laying in the sun instead of working?"

Sitting up quickly she stuck her tongue out at Fergus as he came closer.

"Be nice little Sister, or I won't give you the letter I have from your young Alistair"

"Alistair wrote me?" she squealed and jumped up "Give me it now"

"Such a bossy little thing, I wonder if Father will ever find someone who wants to marry such a woman"

"Fergus Cousland, give me that now or I will tell Oren to ask his Mom daily for sword fighting lessons"

"You would you impossible minx. Delilah should be here in a few hours from the last message Mother got, so read your letter and then get up to the castle"

Laughing at her Brother she undid the package and was stunned as she pulled out a hand drawn picture of Alistair. He must of found someone to draw it and while it was not as detail as her painting she sent him, it was enough for her to see how handsome he was. His hair was long and while he wore a small braid on each temple, the rest was pulled back in a low ponytail. His face was clean shaven with a strong jawline. But it was the curve of his lips and the slight smile that made her feel suddenly warm. Her Hero had grown to be a handsome young man.

Putting the drawing down, she opened the letter to read.

_Fair Tela,_

_I was very surprised yet happy to get your letter. Of course I remember you, how could I ever forget someone like you? Now with the painting not only will I always remember you, but also will have a small part of you to hold next to my heart forever. Who knew such a wild spitfire would grow into such a beautiful woman and Maker Tela you are truly beautiful. Never have I seen someone as lovely as you are. I must sound like an idiot, most people tend to think of me as such, but I do mean it._

_Life at the beginning was lonely I admit. I missed home terribly and Prince as well, which I thank you knowing he went home with you. I did often worry about him and knowing he was always with you makes me happy. Once I left for full Templar training, things were better. I met another boy my age named Cullen who is also becoming a Templar. We have become close friends and it makes life more fun._

_I hope you like the drawing. One of the boys here is actually leaving the Templar training to become a transcription writer for the Chantry and does amazing work. I had to bribe him with some cookies I had hidden but it was for a good cause._

_May the Maker watch over you_

_Your Hero Forever,_

_Alistair_

Telaina blushed over his praise of her looks but at the end felt like crying over how he signed it. Her Hero forever. A Knight, her Knight. It was silly really, they would never see each other again. He would go and become a Templar serving a Chantry or maybe a Circle and she would eventually get married and become some Nobleman's wife and one day a Mother. Their fates were already set, but for one brief moment, she could dream that he would come find her, a Knight on his horse and rescue from a marriage she didn't want and carry her off into the sunset.

She looked at his picture once more. She could imagine him on a horse wearing full silverite armor. He would be the most handsomest Knight ever. She traced his face with her fingers and once more looked at his smile. What would it be like to be kissed by such a strong handsome man? She could imagine strong arms holding her, that slight smile before his eyes closed and then the soft pressure of his lips. She shuddered at the thought and lightly kissed his portrait wishing somehow he could feel it through paper she held.

"Telaina, Telaina! Delilah is already here and early" she heard Fergus yell

Getting up she folded the letter and portrait and ran back to the castle. She could wait to show it to Delilah and see what she thought of her handsome Knight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Delilah was so excited to be back to Highever and with the Couslands once more. All of her happiest memories were here and she felt they were more of a family to her than the Howe's would ever be. She might have been born a Howe, but her heart would always be a Cousland and they would be the example she would follow with her own family one day. Lady Eleanor was more of a Mother to her than her own ever was. Her Mother only cared about her baby, Nathaniel and her Father only cared about the power his boys might bring him one day. Delilah was just an afterthought, but thankfully the Maker was kind enough to bring the Cousland's into her life. Telaina was her best friend and like a Sister to her and both Aedan and Fergus treated her as a Sister as well. Even little Oren called her Auntie Dela, since he couldn't say Delilah very well. This would always be home for her.

She still couldn't believe the Couslands would host her for her first season at court. Spending even a summer at court was an expensive, let alone an entire season and the fact that Lady Eleanor told her not to worry about anything and that they would take care of her clothing and such when they did Telaina's was mind blowing for her. Her Father had given her a purse of 50 gold to give to Lord Cousland, but that would hardly make a dent in the cost they would be spending on her. It was a very humbling act and Delilah would be sure they knew exactly how grateful she was.

Seeing Telaina enter the room, both girls squealed and hugged.

"I am so glad you are here Delilah! Oh how I have missed you and I have a surprise to show you too!"

"I am happy to be back too" and then turning to Lord Bryce "My Father asked me to give you this purse of 50 gold for my expenses"

Bryce could see the hurt in young Delilah's eyes as she spoke. Both were more than aware that it wouldn't even cover her clothing, let alone anything else. He also knew she needed to be reassured right now. Why Rendon and his wife didn't care about this lovely girl was beyond him. He had known Delilah since infancy and come to love her as much as any of his children. He was also was so happy at the friendship that Delilah and Telaina had built. They both needed each other and he could not express his happiness over them finding each other as well.

"Delilah, I can see the hurt you have over what your Father sent, but I want you to know we are doing this because we also love you child and not just because you are Telaina's friend. Did you know that Eleanor was with your Mother when you were born?"

"No, I did not Lord Bryce"

"We were visiting when your Mother went into labor. Needless to say, Eleanor took you from the midwife and gave you to your Mother. She was the first to hold you and it was only a few weeks later that that we learn Eleanor was not only expecting, but 7months later she had our Telaina. But you my dear was the first baby girl, my beloved Eleanor held. It is why Eleanor has always tried to do what she could for you, she has always viewed you as a daughter of ours. This is why we are wanting you with us, while it will be wonderful for Telaina  to have you with her, it is also because you will always be one of _our_ children to"

Delilah could only cry, but sniffled a "Thank you Lord Bryce"

"We also discussed, that you should no longer call us Lord Bryce and Lady Eleanor, please call us only Bryce and Eleanor" and with that he pulled her into his arms with a strong loving hug.

"I-I don't k-know what t-to say" she cried

"Nothing needs to be said. Now you and Telaina need to go see Eleanor, she has a surprise for both of you"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Later that night both girls sat in Telaina's room gossiping before going to sleep. With the excitement about heading to Denerim for shopping and then getting ready for their first season at court. Telaina however had other news to share with her friend and told her about her letter, since she had known about Alistair since they were kids.

"He also sent me this" she handed her the drawing

"Oh Maker Tela, he is gorgeous"

"I know, isn't he wonderful and here read his letter."

Telaina watched the look on her friends face and the smile she had as she finished it.

"Tela, wow, I just can't, I mean wow. I couldn't imagine such a handsome man write such a letter. Will you write him back again?"

"Of course! Once we get to Denerim I am going to write him and let know about shopping this summer and the dresses that will be made and then of course I will let him know what court is like and, oh dear I may write him a book if I don't watch out"

Delilah looked at her friend and knew she was heading toward trouble and if she didn't watch it a broken heart too.

"Tela, you know you can't, he is going to be a Templar and you will have to marry a nobleman one day. Alistair is handsome,  young and very romantic with his letter, but there can never be anything between the two of you, you understand that right?"

"Of course, I know that...I mean...well we need to get some sleep, long trip tomorrow, right?"

"Sure, I mean of course, we have much to do tomorrow" she smiled

Telaina smiled at Delilah. She was right of course and as she crawled under her covers she thought about what she said. Alistair was just a girls dream and nothing more, nothing ever more. But even as she said it, a part of her couldn't help but want her Knight in shinny armor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair and Cullen continue to train as Templars slowly Alistair begins to show improvement but when Arl Eamon shows up after so many years to see him, Alistair becomes angry and lashes out at him. 
> 
> Receiving another letter from Tela, he pours his heart out to her over all the pain his life has been and finds someone who cares about him for him and nothing else.

Cullen laughed and shook his head. He had been trying to get Alistair to take his training more serious and after the last letter he received from his Tela, as he called her, suddenly he was the most serious student there. His studies improved, but his sword and shield work improved so much he even had been besting Cullen in sparring matches.

"Who knew all it took was a nod from a pretty girl to get you to work better" Cullen laughed

"Hey, she isn't pretty, she is gorgeous and who wouldn't want to be the best they could be for a woman like that" he blew a stray piece of hair out of his face that had come loose in training

"OK, so yes she is gorgeous, but still I haven't seen this much improvement since I met you"

Alistair laughed and went back to beating a weapon dummy until another man came running up to them.

"Recruit Alistair, you are needed inside, there is a man waiting to see you"

"A man? I mean of course, I'll be right there"

"Give me your gear Alistair, I'll clean it and put it up. Before you say anything I don't mind, now seriously, you go and I'll take care of this"

Alistair couldn't imagine who would need to speak to him and when he walked into the room, he definitely did not think it could ever be the man he saw waiting.

"Arl Eamon, what, what are you doing here?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alistair sat in his room he shared with Cullen and wished he could scream. Scream, hit something, no throw something and then scream some more.

"Alistair, are you alright?" he saw Cullen push open the door "can I come in?"

"Of course"

"So who was the visitor? Everyone OK?" Cullen came in and sat down across from him

Alistair let a weary breath loose.

"Alistair, I won't pry, but if you need someone to listen, I'm here for you, I hope you know that"

Alistair took a deep breath. He needed a friend and needed someone to lean on as well.

"Do you wonder why someone like Arl Eamon would come see me?" he asked quietly

"You are from Redcliffe and hmm yes it is odd, I admit"

"First swear what I say is between us forever. I need someone to lean on about this, but if you can not..."

"Alistair, of course I swear. You are my only friend and like a Brother to me, and not just as a future Templar"

Alistair realized he had been holding his breath and let put a long gush of air.

"Thank you Cullen. The reason I was raised at Redcliffe and as a child lived in the Castle was because my Mother was a servant, but my Father was King Maric" he paused and watched his friends face

Cullen was shocked and for one brief moment and had it been anyone else he would of said they were lying, but growing up with Alistair he knew he was beyond honest, even to the point of getting beat up by others because he refused to lie.

"You're not saying anything..."

"I am not sure what to say other than I believe you."

"Thank you" Alistair let a sigh of relief go "that alone is a huge relief right there, knowing I have someone to share something with"

They both continued to talk and Alistair told his friend everything. Growing up in the castle till the Arlessa had him removed him and then as a stable boy. He also told him more about meeting Tela and why he was sent to the monastery and then later to here.

Finally after a few hours past, the bell to eat was being rung and soon mail would be delivered. Something now Alistair looked forward too.

"Come on Loverboy" Cullen laughed "Lets go see if that crazy women sent you anything else"

"How is she crazy?" Alistair arched one eyebrow

"Because she is nuts over you"

Both laughed and pushed at each others shoulders before Cullen wrapped his arm around Alistair's neck and ruffled his hair. Pushing him off, Alistair growled and then took off running, while Cullen laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alistair waited until their private quiet time to read Tela's letter. All were given time each night where they could read, recite prayer and other such activities in their own rooms in silence. Sharing a room with Cullen this was normally the time Cullen went over his prayer and reading, while it gave Alistair time to enjoy reading her letters that had come to mean everything to him. They had been writing for almost a year now and he couldn't help but admit to himself that he had fallen in love with her. Not because of the beautiful painting he looked at nightly, but because of her words, her heart she shared and beauty contained within her heart. Smiling, he opened the letter and read.

_My Darling Alistair,  
_

_First I must of course ask how are you? Your last letter, as always, sounded so exciting. A dashing Knight learning to ride a mighty steed while thrashing an enemy, or maybe it is a beautiful young man learning to defend his Lady? Your letters are my solace Alistair. The season is almost over and I know Father so hoped to make a good match for me. I have plenty of men who love my looks, but the moment I speak, tis another story. No man wants a woman who speaks her mind or is even intelligent for that matter. Even Mother is disgusted. Delilah as well has not had anything worthy either. Father has told us if we do not find perfect husbands this year, then we will in the next. While many women marry younger, my Mother and Father has told all prospect suitors I will not marry until I am 18 and it has discouraged many. But Alistair, I am glad. I don't want to marry because of a document my Father signs, I want love, real passionate love. A man who sees me once and falls hopelessly in love with me, who appreciates who I am, who loves me for who I am. I know its so silly Alistair, but is it wrong to wish for a handsome young Knight to rescue me from a heartless marriage? Is it wrong to want such?  Delilah says I am so silly to believe in such nonsense, but I don't think its silly at all._

_I am so sorry to say all this to you, but sometimes I feel like you are the only one to understand me.  
_

_I am sorry this letter is so short, I will write more later I promise. Tomorrow Fergus, Aedan, Bann Teagan, my Father, Teryn Loghain and King Cailan are hunting and after, Mother, Delilah and I will join them for a ride within the park. It is so silly proper women can not hunt as well. Fergus said he would love to see the face on King Cailan and Lord Loghain when I best them. My Father tells me I have no equal at hunting and  I can ride anything,_

_Forever your Princess,_

_Tela_

Alistair folded the letter as he heard the call for lights out and placed it with all the others. Love and romance. His beautiful Tela, who he had to finally admit he fell in love with, not just because of her beauty in her painting, but her words that seemed to reach out and cradle his heart. Makers breath he wished he could be her Knight and claim her forever as his. With that thought he thought of her words, she could ride anything, including him. It was terrible but not only had he fallen in love with her, he realized he desired her as much as he loved her.

Alistair felt his body hardening, could feel the heat in his stomach. Never had he touched himself, he considered it wrong. It was something no Templar should ever do, but in this moment he found he didn't care. He wanted Tela in his arms, his bed, his lover and if it could only be in his fantasy, then so be it. This was about his love for her, how she was forever carved within his heart and his very soul.

Reaching down and touching himself for the first time sent a jolt through his body and he couldn't help the hiss that slipped past his lips. He waited to listen, but Cullen was obviously still asleep. Slowly he slid his fingers along his length as his thumb brushed the underside of his his head and his body jolted as the sensitive spot was caressed. Becoming more aroused he gripped his length harder and begun to stroke himself. He could see his beautiful Tela, sitting above his, her white thighs gripping against his waist. He bit his lip to keep from moaning. He could imagine her body over his, thin and trim, round hips pushing against him as he saw pert harden nipples begging to be tasted and he would, he would suckle her as she brought him closer to his peak. His hips began to thrust against his hand as his arousal grew. What would she feel like sliding her body on his? Alistair bit his lip harder, he was so close, then his thumb hit once more the underside of his head, it pushed him over the edge. He continued to stroke as he splatted his hot seed on his hard stomach.

As he cleaned himself off, Alistair realized something else, Tela deserved to know how much he loved her. He knew they had no future together. But still she needed to hear that her dreams of a man loving her heart and her mind were not in vain, for while he could not see her as her beauty graced the royal court, his heart was still hopelessly lost to her forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls have one more night before the season is over and the Couslands head back to Highever. Tela finds herself dancing with Teyrn Loghain. She instantly does not like the man and the fact that he seems quite impressed with her scares her completely.
> 
> Tela receives a letter from Alistair that changes everything for her. A letter she doesn't even share with her friend as she wants to be sure no one in her family will ever see it.

Telaina was slightly annoyed. Fergus had given her a new letter from Alistair, but with the final ball of the season tonight, there she sat preparing for it instead of reading the letter she desperately wanted to see. Their letters had become more personal and with that they made her stomach flutter each time she read one. Alistair proved to be very romantic with his words and was becoming a part of her heart.

She looked at herself in the mirror. This was the richest of all her gowns and she had saved it for this night. She would glow amongst the best and show the world that the Couslands were every bit as elegant, beautiful, cultured and bled of the nobility  that was equal to any King or Queen in all of Thedas was. Telaina had pale skin, Ebony hair and pale green eyes and her Mother had chosen several shades of Bronze, Rust and Gold in her gowns all season, but the one tonight out shined them all. Tonight her gown was a rich bronze brocade with black silk accent. The gown had a tight bodice that was very low cut, much to her Father's dismay, with large puff shoulders that had black silk bows at the elbow which led to lower arms were slashed and lined with black silk. The bodice was also beaded with small beads of onyx in a lovely checkerboard design that drew a persons eyes even more to the low daring neckline.The skirt was a bell shaped with a reversed v slash to show a black silk skirt with small copper beads in the same checkerboard design as her bodice. Around her neck she wore a rose gold necklace with green peridot's and on her hands she wore a beautiful perfect black pearl on one and the other had a large oval black onyx on the other. Her hair was pulled up and pinned with rose gold combs with small black onyx and peridot beads. No one could deny Telaina Cousland was a breathtaking girl who would one day be a elegant and gorgeous woman. Even her Brothers had to admit that their little Sister was going to be a woman that any man would wish to make his wife.

Bryce and Eleanor both felt their hearts lurch when Telaina and Delilah joined them. Delilah was in a beautiful gown of rose and lavender silk in a style similar to Telaina, with her bead work pink and white pearls. . Both girls were a vision of loveliness.

"Maker, look at you both" Bryce exclaimed "There will not be a man at court who would not want you both as a wife"

Eleanor walked to both girls and kissed their cheek, " Look at you, both my beautiful girls so grown up tonight, where did time go?"

Both curtsied and after Fergus and Aedan joined them, they all left for the palace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Delilah and Telaina both squealed with delight at the extravagance splendor of the ball tonight. Everyone was in their best and tonight was when all serious offers for marriage would come. Tonight both girls would see exactly how much of an impact they had made on the hearts of Ferelden.

After being introduced to King Cailan and Queen Anora, It was then that her first surprise of the night came when the young King Cailan claimed Telaina's first dance of the night. The King was dressed in red and gold and was a beautiful sight to hold.

"You look lovely tonight fair Telaina" Cailan told her as he lead her to the floor "the regal grace and beauty to rival even royalty"

Telaina couldn't breathe, what was she to say in such compliments, especially from her King? Even more so with the looks Queen Anora was giving her. She suddenly felt as if the entire court was watching her and locking eyes with her parents, she realizes all she could do was to try and be a gracious partner and hope the dance ends quickly.

Watching them dance, Bryce didn't notice Loghain walking up to him until he heard him speak.

"She is quite lovely tonight"

Bryce startled at his voice and regaining his composure before agreeing with him.

"Have you found a husband for her yet?"

"We have had many inquiries, although she is not aware of such of course. This is about fun for the young ladies as it should be and not contracts that Eleanor and I will look at."

"Of course, I have also noticed you have hosted young Delilah Howe as well this year"

"Delilah is like a daughter in our hearts and she is also a close friend of Telaina's as well. It has been good for the girls to have each other growing up as well. Maker knows my boys are a handful to grow up with for my poor girl as is, so having young Delilah with her has been a blessing." both men laughed, for Bryce and Loghain both knew the Cousland boys were a fun loving rowdy bunch.

"Have you narrow down your offers yet?"

"Not of yet" Bryce was curious as to source of his questioning "Is there something you wish to ask Loghain?"

"No, I just have heard much of Telaina while here. I myself am considering looking for a new wife, since mine recently passed and now that Anora is married, life will be lonely"

Bryce hid his surprised which was followed quickly by worry, surely Loghain was not implying he was interested in Telaina, she was younger then even his own daughter. But the heat in Loghain's eyes could not be hidden as he watched her dance with Cailan.

Nodding his head to Bryce, Loghain made his way to Cailan as the music ended and claimed Telaina for himself. Holding her close to him as the music once more began, he allowed his eyes to grace her full beauty. She look as if she was made from the porcelain the dolls he once bought for Anora. Smooth and creamy, not a blemish anywhere he could see, but Maker help him he would love to check all of her to see if she truly was as perfect as she looked. But perhaps his favorite part of her was the pride he saw in those pale green eyes, framed in long black lashes. She would be a wild and fierce warrior on the field of war, and equally in the bedroom. He already knew from Bryce that she was a gifted warrior and any woman who could fight with such passion could do so alone with her lover as well. She was so young, younger than Anora, but that that hardly meant anything in the game of contracting marriages. In two years, Bryce would allow her to marry, plenty of time for him to win the heart of this lovely maiden, because if her heart was involved, Bryce would agree to a marriage between them.

"You look very lovely this evening Telaina" he smiled as he spoke to her

"Thank you my Lord" she lowered her eyes and blushed under his warm gaze

"And modest as well. You have grown to become a very charming and beautiful woman and please call me Loghain"

"You offer such praise my Lord, I mean Loghain" she blushed.

"Only certain women deserve such praise" he murmured

"And I am such?" she asked curiously

"Very much so" he smiled and kissed the back of her hand as the dance ended and he escorted her back to her Father and Mother.

"My Lord and Lady, your lovely daughter" he gave a nod of his head and left them to seek out Cailan and Anora who were obviously not getting along. He was tired of telling them that while all husband's and wives disagreed at times, they could not do so when surrounded by their court.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Telaina was happy to see the night come to an end. While she loved dancing, she found the more dances Teyrn Loghain asked of her, the less young men her own age offered. While the Teryn was a charming man and a wonderful dancer, he was also the age of her Father and the idea of him courting her scared her greatly. When he smiled, he seemed much younger and he was a very handsome man as well, but something in his dark eyes frightened her to her core.

Finally alone and in bed, she took the letter from Alistair and read:

_My Beautiful Tela,_

_As always I enjoy your letters and your words seem to melt into my heart as I do so. I keep reading the letter that you told me you wished for passion and true love, that you longed for a man who loved your mind as much as he did your beautiful face. It is not wrong to feel such Tela, for I too think love should be about passion that comes from the heart, not based on whether you have a pretty face or not. If your heart is not intertwined with theirs, what is the point of even being together?  
_

_It is with that thought that I have a confession to make to you Tela. Your words have woven themselves within my heart, they have become so much a part of me that the idea of of pulling them out would surely kill me. I know it is foolish and I know there is no world in which we could ever be together, but I cannot hold back from telling you any longer. I love you Tela, I love you more than I ever thought possible. I close my eyes to thoughts of you and dream of your beautiful face smiling as I surrender every breath I have to you. I wake to your name slipping past my lips. I hear your words in my head as we sit in silence during prayer. I would give all I am for one stolen moment with you. I would give my life for one day to be within your arms so that I might tell you I love you to your face. I wish I could be the man in your dreams to ride in and claim you as my Lady. I feel anger over the fact I was born in a life that I could never offer for the hand of a Noblewoman, but if I could, you would be the only woman I would ever claim my love._

_I do not know if I will hear from you again after admitting such, but I wanted you to know that somewhere there was a man who does see within your heart and love you for the soul inside, not just the beauty it is held in._

_Forever Yours,_

_Alistair_

Tela felt her heart pounding in her ears and tears on her cheeks. Alistair was in love with her as much as she was with him. It would be insane to tell him so, invite the chance for more pain than they both already felt, but she couldn't not tell him. After tonight, she could end up promised to a horrible man like Teryn Loghain, forced into a marriage she would hate for life, but for this one moment in time she could give her heart to the man who won it with love, not title nor power.

Alistair was right, they had no future, even Delilah told her that too, but to hide what she felt each time Delilah mentioned his name, or the moment Fergus told her he had written or each night when she held his drawing against her chest was not right either. She cried even harder as she blew out her candle while clutching his letter to her heart, she thought about how she had found her Knight who would rescue her from a loveless marriage, but fate would force it so he never could do so. How much crueler could life ever be?

Slowly her crying stopped and she felt herself become sleepy. Whispering a good night and I love you Alistair, she drifted to sleep with thoughts of Alistair still within her mind as he was always  within her heart.

 _It was her wedding and it was being held outside of Highever castle near the lake. There were flowers everywhere and it had never looked so beautiful in her life._ _She was being walked down the aisle by her Father,leading her to her husband. As they neared he turned his head and she saw Teryn Loghain smiling at her. No her mind screamed, no not him, oh please not him. She started crying and her Father snapped at her to act like a Teryn's daughter should and not cry like a baby on her wedding day, it was beyond embarrassing.  Shocked over her Father's cruel words, she tried to stop crying, but couldn't. It was just to horrible. Looking around her she saw everyone laughing at her tears, including her own Mother and Brothers. They thought it was funny.  
_

_The Teryn held out his hand and cruelly pulled her to him. The next thing she knew he was kissing her harshly and pulling at her body, bruising her with his hard and painful touches. Pulling her head away, she screamed once more and everyone laughed even harder, including her Father who urged Loghain to kiss her again. The Chantry Mother however, told him he needed to be wed before he could bed and her words brought even more laughter from the crowd. She wished she could break free and drown herself in the lake beside them. Death was better than being married to such a cruel man.  
_

_The Mother was done with the vows and right when she was ready to declare them wed, there was a loud commotion behind them and turning to look she saw her dream man appear. On a beautiful golden horse, sat Alistair in full silverite armor. His long blonde hair loose and whipping around his face as he drew his sword._

_"Unhand her now Loghain or meet your death at my hands, I am here to claim my love" his voice so strong it made her shiver from the intensity of each word spoken clearly and with force._

_"Never" Loghain spit back as he too went to drew his sword, but before he could do so, she kicked his shin and knocked him over. Running to Alistair, she reached for him and he effortlessly lifted her up before him. Spinning his horse, he took off with her. They rode through the night and Alistair told her he was sorry he was so late. It had been hard for him to get away, but now that he was and that she was with him their first stop was a chantry he had already paid to be ready for them to marry and a Inn they would stay in before taking ship to the Free Marches. It would be a hard life, Alistair would have to freelance his sword for them to live on, but she didn't care. As long as Alistair was her husband, nothing else mattered._

_After being wed, he carried her into the Inn and up to their room. Slowly letting her down on her feet, he kissed her timidly at first, becoming more passionate as it lingered. She felt his hands on her waist, pulling her tight against his body. Reluctantly he ended the kiss and began ridding himself of his armor as she stripped to her chemise and then crawled into bed waiting him. She shivered at the thought of what came next. At court her and Delilah had heard all kinds of wild things a man and woman could do together as well as things a girl could do on her own. She hadn't been brave enough to try them all, but she had caressed her own bosom and had found the spot between her legs that made her squeak when she first touched it. While it was exciting to find and feel, she hadn't finished things up like the other women gossiped. Now it would be Alistair, her Alistair who would be touching her and the mere thought made her burn deep inside._

_Finally finished with his armor, Alistair slid in next to her and once more pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She felt one large hand slowly caress her small bosom like she had done herself and moaned as she arched her body against him, maker she wanted him fiercely. Wanted him to do the things the court women whispered when no men were around to hear._

_"Alistair" she moaned against his lips "make me yours forever my love"_

_"Forever" he whispered back "You know, I like the sound of that_

_She felt his hands on her body as he slowly removed her chemise sliding it down her thin body. Their love for each other would be eternal and she didn't know if life would allow them to be together forever in a world that seemed to try to part them, but in her heart no other man would ever live, for it could only hold one and her one would be Alistair until the day she died._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a year of writing to each other, Alistair confessed his love to Tela and does not hear a reply for over 6months. Depressed Cullen encourages Alistair to compete in a tourney to honor the Grey Wardens. Right before the tourney Alistair finally hears from Tela and she confirms that she loves him as well.
> 
> Recruited by the Grey Wardens, Alistair asks Cullen to join with him but Cullen refuses. When Duncan comes for him, they travel to do the joining, which makes Alistair realize his dreams of Tela are over for good. Even though he does accept it, Alistair hides in his pack the letter Tela confirmed her love for him and he is not ready to give up every small piece yet.

Alistair realized that sending a message across Thedas was not a quick process but it should not take half a year either. Had he ruined their friendship with his declarations of love? Or had her Father already matched her and now in love with a future husband felt the need to break their contact? His mind was going in a million different directions and deep inside his heart felt like it was breaking. Maker's breath he knew they had no future but he couldn't help it, his heart wanted her more than anything in this world.

Cullen could see Alistair was getting himself worked up into an emotional breakdown if he didn't get himself under control soon. He felt for his friend, Alistair may be a strong and becoming an amazing warrior, but he had a very innocent heart. He had warned him not to get to involved in the fantasy of love with Tela, especially since she was a Noble's daughter, but Alistair couldn't seem to stop himself and he had fallen hopelessly in love with a women he only knew from the words she wrote. He had to get his friends mind on something else before it was to late.

"Did you hear about the tourney being held to honor the Grey Wardens?"

"No"

"They will allow some of us to compete if we wish too"

"So?"

"Well I thought maybe we should"

"Should what?"

"Compete, are you not listening?"

Alistair looked at his friend. How could Cullen understand. The only thing Cullen ever wanted with his heart and soul was to be a Templar and his dream would soon be true when they took their final vows. Alistair's dreams could never happen happen. His dreams would always remained dreams as he was forced into a life he didn't want.

"Sorry Cullen"

Cullen slung an arm around Alistair's shoulders.

"Look I know why you're upset, but no one except the Maker can change that Alistair, so focus on what you can do and right now, there is a tourney I think we both should compete in"

Finally smiling, Alistair and Cullen walked to the dinning hall to eat and find out more about the coming tourney.

The tourney would be held in two weeks time and Alistair, Cullen along with a few other recruits would be allowed to compete. The tourney was being held to honor the Grey Wardens and as they found out more, Alistair seemed to finally perk up some. The Grey Wardens were a group that Alistair admired greatly. They protected a world because it was what they wanted to do and did not ask for anything in return. They didn't want riches, or fame or even status among courts or Nobility. They did what they did because they had too, no because they wanted too he amended.

That brought an interesting thought to him. If he competed and did well, maybe the Wardens would recruit him. If he were a Warden, maybe Tela's Father would consider a marriage offer from him. It was worth trying he decided.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day as they ate, Alistair finally got another letter from Tela. He held it and just looked for awhile. Afraid of what it would contain. Would she be married soon? Had she fallen in love and if so with who? Finally taking a deep breath, he opened it and read.

_My Beloved Alistair,_

_I was so surprise to read your last letter. Each word I read, every sentence I saw echoed what my own heart had been yelling at me for so long. Oh Alistair, it may be madness, for Delilah surely thinks so, but I love you every much as you do me. I go to sleep with your words lingering in my heart, I look at your drawing, and it is your sweet smile I see when I sleep. How can one fall in love with mere words written on a piece of parchment? But somehow, somehow those words echo across our land and slip close to my ear and reside there forever in my heart. I love you more than words could ever say. I love you more than I thought I was capable of loving. I dream of you on a horse in full armor coming to whisk me away for your own. It is madness, I know, it is impractical, illogical and yet, my heart doesn't care._

_The final night in Denerim at the ball held for the end of the season, I danced with young King Cailan and everyone was in awe, yet all I could think of was your arms around me and holding me close. Oh Alistair, it is horrible. I had the old Teryn Loghain Mac Tir dance with me as well and inquire about me too. He is so cold and there is cruelty in his eyes, I am petrified my Father will agree to a betrothal with him. He has paid us visits all summer and sent me gifts galore. I can not marry such a cold man, I can not. He scares me Alistair. I wish something, anything would happen to pull me away from here and then, maybe I could find you and, oh I don't know what. I want to marry for love, I want to marry you. I want you Alistair as my husband, Father to my children and as my lover as well._

_I must end this letter now, but know you will be my heart until the day I die,_

_With all my Love Forever,_

_Your Tela_

Alistair felt as if his heart would burst. She loved him, desired him and wanted to marry him as well! He knew his plan must of been blessed by the Maker as it was delivered on the day her letter arrived as well. He would escape the Templars and become a Warden, then he would claim her for his wife and they would be together forever. It would work, it had too work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day of the tourney finally came. Alistair was beginning to wonder if it would ever get here. Nervous and worried he might not impress the Wardens was eating away at him. No one, even Cullen, knew why he was competing today. What would he do if he wasn't asked to join? No, he couldn't think about that, he would fight and he would win and they would recruit him. Then he would get himself settle and find Tela. Focus he told himself, focus, he could allow nothing to falter within himself.

Alistair might of had dreams of being the best, but like most dreams, reality was much different. He first competed against a Templar named Ser Eryhn, who fought weapon and shield like him and with a show of amazing grace she pummeled him into the ground. Next was Ser Talrew, who had many victories against the Chasind and then finally Ser Kalvin who they weren't lying was one of the best fighters in all of Ferelden. His blade skill was truly unmatched.

Alistair sat in frustration. He realized not only was he not winning, but he was a pathetic excuse of a man. Tela deserved someone so much more than him. she deserved a man who was skilled and Noble, she deserved anyone other than him. Hanging his head in shame, he made his way back to put up his gear.

"Excuse me"

Alistair turned to see one of the Grey Wardens behind him.

"Can I help you?"

"I saw you fight today, I must confess, I do not remember your name son"

Why would he remember him Alistair thought. No he would remember those who did glory for the Wardens name.

"I am Alistair"

"Ah yes, Alistair. I watched you fight and was quite impressed"

"What with my great ability to lose? Or my great ability to prove worthless as a Templar or Warden?" Alistair sneered. Maker why not everyone get in line and rub his wounds with salt while they were at it.

"No, I was impressed with your heart. I saw many today who sunk to using any trick to win and while I can appreciate winning at any cost as we Wardens must sometimes do, I was more impressed with your honor and heart that would not allow you to cheat. Even at the cost of not winning, you stayed true to your own morals and kept a sense of loyalty no matter what."

Alistair paused for a moment. Did he say he was impressed? Maybe this man got one to many Darkspawn blows to his head

"Wait, I lost and lost badly and you're impressed? Did you get a few knocks to the head by Darkspawn?"

"And your humor. Being a Warden is more than just being a good fighter and a desire to even win. Wardens hold on a code and pay a heavy price, to heavy by some views, but we are loyal to our own, we would die to save even one person. We have to be driven by more than simply fighting Darkspawn, we must be driven by our hearts that tell us that what we do is important and must be done. We take up a vigil to protect all from the deep dark evils. If a Warden has no loyalty, has no code, knows no compassion and can not put his faith that his heart will lead him through, then he will never be a true Warden. When I look at you, I see a man who would make such morals his life long code to serve and protect by and that my boy is why I offer you a place amongst us Wardens if you will have it."

Alistair knew he must of looked like a dazed rabbit not realizing a wolf was close, but he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You want me to join the Wardens? Me?"

"Yes, I do and I would also like to offer a place to your young friend Cullen as well."

"He competed to give me encouragement, but Cullen has dreamed of becoming a Templar since he was a child. He would never change that"

"I see. I will still ask and we will go see your Grand Cleric and if the Maker favors us, you will be among our ranks by the days end"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Grand Cleric refused to allow Duncan to take Alistair. They argued and Alistair felt his hopes dying until Duncan told her something he had no idea a Warden Commander could do. He invoked something called the Rite of Conscription, which allowed him to take anyone he wished and no one could do anything about it. He supposed if a King or Emperor or someone refused, it could be a bit messier, but he didn't care about that. All he cared about was that it took him out of the Chantry and brought him one step closer to becoming a man who Tela could marry.

Heading back to the room he shared with Cullen, he gathered his personal effects while Duncan offered a place too and just as Alistair predicted, Cullen turned him down.

"I mean no disrespect to the Wardens Ser, But since I was a child I dreamed of becoming a Templar, it is the one thing I have held in my heart as close as the love of my family."

"And I would not wish to take such from you young man, you have a strong heart as well. May the Maker watch over you for all your days"

Duncan went to Alistair and told him he would give him a few minutes to say his goodbyes and then they must leave.

"So this is it, this is really goodbye" Cullen said sadly.

"You sure you won't come with me?" he knew the answer, but he had to ask.

"I'll miss you Alistair"

"As will I, I uh, well I don't know if I ever will see you again, but Maker watch over you Cullen"

They hugged each other and as Alistair turned to walk away, he stopped and looked back at Cullen

"Cullen, you're, well you're a good man. Don't let anyone ever change that in you. You honor is important in a Templar. To many want to hurt and punish Mages, don't ever let that darkness in. You're to good to be like them"

That said, Alistair left, never guessing his words would one day haunt him when he saw his friend the next time they met.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Welcome to the Wardens"

Alistair opened his eyes and sat up. Maker he had a headache. Slowly Duncan helped him up.

"Take a moment to yourself Alistair, mourn those who did not make it if you need too. When you are ready, come to me and we will proceed from there"

Alistair sat for a bit. Only one died at his joining. The joining, the price all Wardens must pay. The price no one knew about, the part that made one a Warden. The part of himself that now knew he could never be with Tela.

He felt a tear slip down his handsome cheek. Tela could never be his now. They had no future together now. It had always been a dream that had hardly no chance, but a part of him had always hoped and now that hope was gone.

A Warden gave up who he once was and kept nothing of his past. He went to his room and pulled out the small stack of letters and Tela's painting. He leaned down to put all in the fire in his room. Then he took the letter she wrote telling him she loved him from the stack. He couldn't give it all up yet. Placing them in the fire he watched as her portrait burned, her loving letters burned and his last dreams of a previous life left him as well.

Taking the letter he kept, he kissed it and hid it back into his pack.

"Maker watch over you Tela, may he find you a man who will love you as much as I do and always will"

Walking to Duncan's room, he knocked and hearing him call for him enter he pushed into the room.

"Are you alright Alistair?"

"Yes, I am ready to move on and be the best Warden I can"

"And you lady?" Duncan asked quietly. Alistair had shared his dream and Duncan had seen the pain when he realized he would never see it fulfilled.

"I burned her painting and letters" he hated lying to Duncan, but while he knew the dream of them being together was over, he couldn't get rid of every part of it quite yet.

"It is for the best"

"I know and I agree. But that is done and over, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, we are heading to Ostagar. The King has requested aid, the Darkspawn Horde is moving in the Korcari wilds"

"Makers breath"

"You will be going with your fellow Wardens, I have a stop to make in Highever with Teryn Cousland first and then will meet you there"

Highever, Tela lived in Highever. Maybe he should ask to go...no, no he told himself, that was over.

"Of course Duncan, Maker watch over you on your journey until we met at Ostagar."

"Maker watch over you as well Alistair"

And you as well Tela, Alistair said silently as he left Duncan's room to go and pack his gear.


End file.
